Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just had sex on a roof
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize