Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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