Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize