D3 body, D1 cock
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
