why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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