Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
