yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
