like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
