i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
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She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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