she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
