last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
