hotel room ftw
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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