JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
