The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
