So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
