did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize