R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
