i think i have herpe
just one?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
