mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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