I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
