her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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