And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
