im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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