No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
