can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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