ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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