Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize