I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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