Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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