So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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