Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That accounts for only three of the penises
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
