Your dad touched me again.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
