So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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