After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
