what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
