one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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