I got chris browned last night
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
