and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
