yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
