your thong is hanging out like whoa
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
