the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think I am morally bankrupt
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
