At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
