I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
