there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
