i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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