I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
