Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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