I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Are we still banned from the library?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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