Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
