I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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