Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
