You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
