i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
