We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
