You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
