I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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