Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize