She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I could make wine with my vomit
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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