I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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