He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
